Self love : a how-to-do-it guide
Self-love is doing what makes you feel good and supported. It is about accepting everything about yourself - your desires, wants, hopes and dreams - as being OK.
You want to roll down that grassy hill? Do it! You want to be massaged with honey? Do that! You want to try all the ice cream flavours at that restaurant? Go for it! You want to snuggle under a blanket when it’s raining outside? YES!!
Self-love is about you - the real you, the authentic you - being loving towards yourself.
It’s about seeking out your passions, setting your soul on fire, doing whatever it is that makes you smile inside and out. It’s about letting all the excuses fall by the wayside as you honestly show yourself self-love, by doing what you love.
For the ones we love in our lives, we may easily and willingly give our time, our energy, our love and focus to them - we encourage them, build them up, show them our love and support.
How do you show yourself that love and support?
1. POSITIVE SELF-TALK
If we really stopped to listen to our inner chatter we would be so shocked at how often we degrade and limit our self. We believe we can’t have what we desire, we create the best excuses to convince our self and yet we see others enjoying what we dream of. We judge our bodies, we judge our actions and we are not allowed to make mistakes. We allow our limited beliefs to convince us we CAN NOT instead of YES WE CAN.
Be aware of your negative self-talk and then you can change the thought it’s that simple if your aware. I can, I will, I deserve, I know, I am.
Breath is our life force - we cannot survive without breathing. Become aware of your breath. Most of us only breathe into the upper part of our lungs and yet we have a full set of lungs! Take deep full breaths regularly and feel your energy levels change, feel your emotional reactions calm down. Feed your body oxygen - we are designed to breathe deeply.
Another basic need we neglect is sleep! A lot of us are running around on only a few hours’ sleep: this is destined to encourage stress in us mentally emotionally and physically. We are designed to relax into sleep when the sun goes down and wake when the sun rises. It is a powerfully important the time for the body to rest and rejuvenate. I am not suggesting sleeping 12 hours but I am suggesting getting that minimum 8 hours of sleep and allowing your body to recover from the day before.
Spends some time in nature, feel the earth under your feet, feel the water in our oceans or rivers, connect to plants and animals, allow yourself to be still and remember where you really are and connect to nature and life. Natural has a powerful way of settling us when we are around it - when was the last time you sought out the beach to feel relaxed? Walked barefoot to feel grounded? Lay on the grass to calm down?
Allow yourself to STOP occasionally, to just be and take in the moment. Give yourself permission to become still and notice: notice how you’re feeling, and know that it’s OK to be there in that feeling, whether it’s joy, beauty, stress, indecisiveness, pressured, or even sad. Observe your current state of being and allow the feelings to flood your awareness, without judgements or answers. Just be and allow the being to be all that is, BEING IN THE NOW. This allows our feelings and emotions to have a space to move freely without us placing an attachment on them - we embrace and we let go.
6. MOVE YOUR BODY
You have a physical body, and it needs to move! I invite you to move in any way that you can imagine - to dance, run, skip, roll, tumble, swim, spin, and all the rest. We were designed to move! It is also important to remember that while movement keeps us flexible and strong, it is also a form of expression. When we feel intense emotions, movement allows the energy to flow through the body and helps us to move through resistance.
7. DO WHAT YOU LOVE
Laugh and have fun. We are a social animal and we grow together in community. So spend time with loved ones, friends and family. Have fun, laugh, be silly, lighten up, play games, go to the movies, go dancing, go bushwalking, go swimming, have a bath, join a meditation class, read a book, cook a wholesome meal, host a dinner party, have a massage, do some yoga … and this list can go on and on. Do anything that makes you happy. You are worth everything and anything, know it, believe it and live it.
When we give time to ourselves, when we follow our bliss, when we encourage ourselves, when we laugh, when we breathe, when we rest - we are expressing love to ourselves.
We are expressing self-love.